The Book Parade

My wife loves is when the local library has their book sale. She spends hours perusing and then comes home with a load of grocery bags full of books we never read.

The Outdated Western Farms Garden- How to maintain your garden in bell bottoms and leisure suits.

The Router Handbook- 100 completely unsafe things to do with your 1/2 hp fixed base router in a series of poorly drawn diagrams.

The Jello Book - A disturbing collage of chiffon dresses, pipe smoking dads and lobster shaped jello molds.

The English Breakfast Book- Jellied Eels and everything else you never wanted to know about what British people will put on toast.

The Whispers of Tarnis- Book 25 of a 85 book fantasy series, that you will never understand without the 24 previous books.

Discovering Inner Failings- A self help book written to show you why you need another self help book.

Silicon Valley in 1979- How boring people can take a boring subject and craft it into the definitively useless coffee table book.

How To Clean Practically Anything- Whisk aways hours you could be spending with your kids or spouse agonizing over a stain that no one ever even noticed.

Anything by Charles Dickens- Why even your worst childhood memories are better that anything that ever happened to people in a Dickens novel.

The next one is coming in April. I'll try to contain myself...


Ando said...

That was awesome.

Tina said...

I am soooo glad I am not the only one.

Jason Michael Shuttlesworth said...

I loved 'The Whispers of Tarnis.' It single-handedly led me into the fine art (some would call it alchemy) of cloning unicorns from mutant antelope/albino zebra hybrids.

kludge said...




Hardly! You're in plenty good company around here...


I seriously love you man. That is fantastic!

blogger said...

I'm not enough time to read a book, may be next day, next month or next year, I will