Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Immersed In Politics

As of late I have been immersed in politics. Don't worry gentle readers, this is not a political thread. Well, I suppose strictly speaking it is but not like that. I'm not here to persuade anyone to my side or convince you of the correctness of my political vision. That simply isn't furthering my cause of "keeping the Internet weird"

I don't have television in my house. That is, I do not subscribe to cable or have an antenna on my tube. As such I don't watch much news. A couple weeks ago I was at training and holed up in a hotel with one sink and two 42 inch flat screens. Unless I wanted to catch up on A Baby Story or overgrown boys making motorcycles news was my only recourse.

I watched a lot of news... Which candidate said which thing on which day. Pictures of the President eating hamburgers.

"Will this be served in the upcoming visit? Back to you John!"
"Laura, are hamburgers kosher or will this be viewed as a slap in the face to the head of Israel"
"John, even though there is the word 'ham' in the name, hamburger actually contains zero pig or pig byproduct. So yes it can be kosher."
"Well, that is welcome news..."

Wrinkled Congressmen with starched shirts, bright ties and new legislation to make my life better.

"Congressman, how will this new Puppy Love Law fair in the Senate?"
"Well Jim, I think all puppies deserve love. This new bill just makes it more concrete. I think the Senate will support stricter fines for not loving puppies..."

Since then I've spent many hours with my head mired in the political system. There's a reason people say not to talk politics on first dates...

It can be boring to those who aren't interested. I can see my wifes eyes glassing over when I start in. The US political system is muddled with the cry from many voices, opinions, solutions, experts, editorials, conclusions, forecasts, stances, legislation, promises and peoples impressions.

"Jane, you look lovely."
"Thank you Bill. Oh flowers!!"
"So are you ready for our first date?"
"Since you didn't tell me what we were doing I wasn't sure what to dress for..."
"Well at first I though we could go see that new movie, I loved you when you were just a lowly pig farmer"
"That looks sooo romantic!"
"Then I thought, what about the opera. What says first date better that 'fat signing men dressed as weeping clowns?'"
"Not much!!"
"But then I got it!"
"Yes?!"
"I've got two tickets to the presidential debate. We can grab some taco bell on the way and then we can sit and watch rich old men dodge important questions and then argue over who was best and whether or not they like cigars or had illegal alien workers. After we can drive around town and argue about our political ideology for an hour or until we're both furious that I drop you at a park with no money to get home..."

Politics. It's kinda like that...

2 comments:

Tony said...

You know, I thought, before clicking the link in my RSS reader, that "immersed in politics" was going to be a polite euphemism for a really badly clogged up toilet or something...

kludge said...

That would have been an appropriate comparison! :)