Thursday, September 15, 2011

More Death Less Caffeine: Revisted

What the hell? First my sendmail box is axed and now my coffee maker kicks the bucket? I mean sure we can manage with a Windows box taking over for smtp functions. We've all adjusted to meaningless event log entries, stupid glurge icons and pointless clicking through Microsoft menus, but my coffee pot? How much pain can one man endure!

My wife wakes me up the other morning.

"Hon, the coffee pot won't turn on."
"What?"
"Nevermind. It's fine."
"That's not funny!"
"Well it wasn't working but now it- no. wait."
"Patricia?"
"No. It's off again."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"Peter? Are you sobbing over a coffee maker?"

In many ways that coffee maker has shown me more love than most things in my life. It was always there for me. Always cheerful and completely dedicated. No whining, complaining or fiddling. You add some water, grounds and flip a switch. Minutes later, you get coffee. Hello! Here's for a little constancy in the life of a working man!

"It's 8:00 in the morning. I need coffee."
"Beep"
"It's 2:30 in the afternoon. I need coffee."
"Beep"
"It's 1:15 in the morning. I need coffee."
"Beep"
"I love you."
"Peter are you hugging the coffee pot?"
"What?! Oh- Hey hon."
"When was the last time you showed me that much appreciation?"
"Maybe if you had a 12 cup carafe, charcoal filter and delayed brew feature..."

Anyway, for the last 7 years or so my coffee maker has been dedicated to my happiness. So I thought a memorial was in order.

"Where's the coffee maker?"
"I threw it out. It was broken"
"Oh. I was going to say a few words."
"Oh, give me a break Peter..."

6 comments:

Queen of Spades said...

My condolences. It is hard to lose long time friends, even if they only seem like appliances to others.

Jason Michael Parrish said...

Dogs and coffee pots are two of man's best friends. Think it no accident that man's history is somewhat vague until the domestication of dog-like creatures and coffee beans.

Drake Davenport said...

Without coffee, I don't think I'd have a job. Not because I drink it, though. My boss does. If he didn't have his coffee... aye...

Hey, Kludge! I decided to get back into Blogger. Instead of ViperMan2000, I'm posting as Drake Davenport. I'm trying to get into writing novels and such, and that will be my pseudonym. I decided to go for about one post a week.

kludge said...

Thank you all for your condolences. The problem has been rectified, and the Starbucks stopgap was good short term fix! :)

Drake Davenport said...

The next thing you need is a cappuccino or espresso maker. That's where the real pick-me-up is.

kludge said...

I've had an espresso maker for years. I would have been much more upset it it had died! :)