My last 5 Facebook Posts

Considering how few amusing things I've generated in the last 2 months, I thought you all might appreciate something...

Dec 25: So, everyone's phone is off, I'm standing in the rain locked outside of my empty house with no keys, and I need to use "the facilities". Making Christmas memories...

Jan 2: I cannot stop overeating. Luckily my pants are now so tight I'm getting light headed and might just pass out. Seems to be some sort of fail safe method...

Jan 3: I like Lumberjack Games. If more sports had axes and chainsaws, I think I could get into them more...

Jan 9: I've only had one person ever give me their number and asked me to call them. It was a very attractive man with a pale blue knit sweater tied around his shoulders. I never found out what he wanted....

Jan10: I'm such a poor speller that Outlook wished to change what I thought was 'inconvenience' to 'incontinence'. I said, "no" as I wanted to keep the email a bit more professional...