20 Things I've Learned From Dieting

  • Dieting is the direct opposite of everything else in life. It's easier to gain, than it is to lose.

  • If you're not allowed to eat it on your diet, then it's all you'll want.

  • kitchen tables are suppose to be a place of joy, not weeping and gnashing of teeth.

  • Exercising builds muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. Which means it's possible to eat right, exercise and gain at your next weigh in. Breaking your scale isn't the solution

  • My scale and I have a love/hate relationship. It loves to hate me.

  • We're going to need another scale...

  • When on a diet, you'll find that there's a fast food joint on every single street corner in town.

  • Even gross fast food sounds better that a low calorie microwaved boxed meal. Not surprising really.

  • If your portion of food is bigger than the palm of your hand, then it might actually fill you up.

  • Counting calories. It's like gambling for dieters. "Hit me with a string cheese!"

  • I've been on a diet for three weeks and all I've lost is my sanity.

  • Nonfat, no-whip, sugar free tall mochas, aren't worth $4.50.

  • If you plan on cheating, do yourself a favor and don't weigh in for a couple of days. We just bought a new scale...

  • Extra cheese doesn't count, if ordered on a vegetarian pizza.

  • While dieting, the world seems packed with skinny people eating hamburgers and fries.

  • Do what I do. Wish them fat. I know it works because someone did it to me 13 years ago...

  • Comfortable jeans really are their own reward.

  • Even if it's only because you dare not wash them!

  • I like mushrooms, bell peppers and tomatoes but lets not pretend it wouldn't taste SO MUCH better on a pizza

  • I'm not overweight, I'm just prepping for an extended Antarctic expedition...but we're gonna need more dogs for the sled.

    Tony said...

    "Exercising builds muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. Which means it's possible to eat right, exercise and gain at your next weigh in."

    One can avoid a lot of grief by instead obsessing over weight, working towards a healthier body type. One of my classmates way back in high school was big into lifting weights. He was told - with a straight face, even, which considering the guys almost complete lack of body fat makes you wonder about these people - that according to a height/weight based scale, he was seriously overweight and should seriously consider dieting and exercising. (I guess the massive amounts of time spent lifting weights didn't count?) So much for BMI and other such nonsense...

    "Breaking your scale isn't the solution."

    Nonsense, good sir! Violence is always the solution. If nothing else, breaking your scale uses up calories. ;)

    kludge said...


    I cut down and persimmon tree and dug up the root ball this weekend. It's hard to feel too bad about gaining a pound on the scale.

    Still it feels good to give it a kick now and then...

    Makolyte said...

    If you like keeping details and want to lose weight then I recommend the "Lose It" app for iphone/ipod touch. I'm sure you can use it on other platforms too.

    After recording meals for a week you'll realize just how badly you're eating. Like most restaurant meals will give you almost all of your calories allotted. It's also awesome for monitoring the nutrient composition of what you eat.

    You can also record your exercise sessions and it will estimate calories burned based on YOU (i dont know the exact calculation). This has really helped me. I've lost 20 freakin lbs in 2 months so far.

    I honestly am losing a lot of weight just by controlling my portions. I still eat tasty food. Most diets are all about what you CANT eat. But it's more like how much should you eat . . .

    //good luck

    kludge said...


    That sounds cool. I'll check it out!


    Jason Michael Parrish said...

    You could try inhaling helium before your next weigh-in. Just don't try explaining this to your wife. You'll sound funny.

    themadengineer said...

    I've always been partial to the hacker's diet, a sort of "weight loss for engineers" kind of thing.

    kludge said...


    Informative and inventive as always!!