The Mourning of Sendmail

Sendmail is a simple functional Unix based mail server. It requires a small amount of knowledge to install and get running but once up; it runs forever. At my office we had a 5 year old server running on a 1.1 Ghz processor with 256 MB of RAM. On that box was a free distro of the Fedora project and a installation of sendmail. For 5 year it just worked. One time in 5 years it stopped working. It stopped working because some clown in the office moved our domain name to a new ISP and brought down the mail server. Other than that Sendmail did it's job. Sending mail. In fact in 5 years I would be surprised if it was rebooted more that 10 times.

Recently the powers that be axed my box. Why? Because they don't understand servers without pictures. No mouse on the screen, no wizards or pretty icons that move. No trash can, widgets or start button?

"Are you sure this is a server?"
"Of course it's a server!"
"Is this the screen saver?"
"What?! No it's called a command prompt."

Welcome in the new era. A shiny bright clean Windows cluster. Two giant silver hulking Hercules. Both running Windows 2008 Server 64 bit with a Siamese brain that is the Windows clustering service. Each server sporting a dual quad core and 16 GB of RAM. You know what they do differently than my Sendmail box? Nothing. Send mail. That's it. Nothing new here. Only now we've got to install Symantec Backupexec in case the Exchange edge server configuration crashed. (My old backup? A single sendmail configuration file ftped weekly via a cron job.) Install anti-virus software as these little beauties are ripe for attack! (My old Anti-Virus? Non-existent) No sir. Pretty pictures, poor security and severely bloated power houses.

So now what? I put the last of my Linux production boxes out to pasture.

"What's going on?!"
"Sorry, no one is looking for a free stable OS and simple functional software that doesn't cost them a dime to install."
"Are you kidding?"
"Afraid not. You've been replaced with an Exchange edge cluster."
"Whoa! You're serious."
"Absolutely"
"Well, if I was you I wouldn't wipe my drives you might need me when they crash"
"I've already cloned you friend..."

Just in case!

Scouts Honor

I promise to post something very soon. Honest!

Wasting Time

So.. It seems there is something severely wrong with me. Right. You all knew that. Regardless. I've been watching Star Trek Enterprise for the first time. As I progress through the seasons, I find myself captioning still frames in my head. So... Without further ado.

My severely altered Star Trek Captions.


Archer: Oh Great!
T'Pol: A problem captain?
Archer: I should think so! I put in my money, pushed A7, and now my freeze dried cheese curls are stuck!
T'Pol: Captain?
Archer: Help me rock it free!



Trip: sigh... Alright Cap'an no one is looking.
Archer: 'Billie Jean is not my lover ...'



Trip- guys...there's someone watching us. Fat guy, on the couch, eating popcorn, in their underpants wearing Vulcan ears.
Mayweather- I'm not looking!



Archer: What the hell are you doing with my dog?
Phlox: Pineapple Jello mold.
Archer: Yum.


Archer: Where's your other hand?
Silik: Between two pillows.
Archer: THOSE aren't PILLOWS!


wanna play? Startrek.com my username is kludge77

Super Mutant Soup

Oh no... The beast has returned. I haven't dived into a video game coma for what I believe is over a year. I've been away. I've been in the garage playing with my power tools. Creating objects to make my house a bit more functional or my pocketbook a bit less scrawny. Regardless I've been creating blister, calluses and gathering skills and tools to my ever expanding domain. Something changed. I was sick yesterday. I actually had an injury which prevented me from walking normal. It was both bizarre and nearly impossible to rely here. Regardless, I'm fine now. As a consequence though, I stayed home from work rather than go there in the buff. I'm sure my co-workers are pleased that I made this choice.

So. I'm not ill, but still unable to go to work. So I sat in my office and fired up an old game. Fallout 3. I'm back. Sweet Mercy. I forgot. Computer, I love you. I'm sorry I was absent for so long. I spent over 11 hours of sick day game play.

So I fired up the game, and started to recall this game I completed over a year ago. I roamed the District of Columbia wasteland in the year 2277. Apparently the USA and China went to war in 2077 and blew the world to absolute oblivion. Like rats and cockroaches, the human race survived. You and your family were lucky enough to survive in an underground bomb shelter for the last 200 years. Well, now you have emerged. And the wasteland will never be the same.



I'm a little do-gooder on a mission to find my lost daddy. Seems simple enough. Well... in order to find him I have to complete a couple hundred quest. Each quests allows me to be good or bad. So there I am, in scavenged armour and 30lb sledge hammer ridding the former US capital of horribly mutated irradiated men, crazed post-apocalyptic nuclear winter type animals and authoritarian robots. I spend my day, drinking radioactive colas, trading scrap metal with dirty traders, hacking computer terminals, picking locks, disarming mines and searching the rumble for useless items for others. Items like, sensor modules, power armour, satellite dishes and the Declaration of Independence. It's a real hoot.


There goes another 40 hours of my life.

Look! Stupid Pictures!

Yeah! It seems my exhaustion has addled my brain. What was that? It was always this way?


Saving a few bucks on airfare...

You tell him he looks stupid. Well? Go on!
Ballet never seemed this interesting to me...


You tell me what this one means, cause I'm not sure.

Exhaustion

This is the fist morning in what seems like an eternity without coffee. Here I am at almost 1:00 wondering how I'm suppose to get through the next 5 hours. Today, starting at Cisco configs is like holding up the world. I suddenly feel quite bad for Altlas. Poor soul. Though unlike Atlas, I have no merciful Perseus willing to exchange information for a quick release from my suffering. Ah for another Gorgon head lying around the office! Of course if I am to be turned to stone then what would I do with those free movie tickets in my wallet.

My poor wallet. Sitting alone on the bedside table wondering why I left him behind. "WAIT!! DON'T GO! Sigh...You took the phone, your mp3 player and even that good for nothing blue tooth headset you're forced to carry. Why am I not worry of your morning preparations?" I'm missing it right about now though. I'll tell you what!

Believe me the coffee break (what a horrible use of that phrase) was not my intention. I fully planned to worship at the alter of Starbucks this morning. Seeing as I was exhaustion from the events of my household, that I have zero intention of barring here, I was already quite late to work. My lovely and equally tired wife made me a lunch but we agreed to forgo making coffee.

"No biggie, I'm already late. I'll stop at the Starbucks."

zzzzzzzzzzzz

I just took a little cat nap. I need a gizmo so I can sleep at the office and no one will know. Nevermind. Thank you Internet!



Oh look. Only 4 hours and 15 minutes left.

Vintage Computer Ads

So... did you clear a warehouse for the server?


Talk About User Friendly!


Portable? With a back brace...


You're going to love all the wasted man hours!


Bargins Galore!


Compact? Seriously?


If Bill said it, I believe it and that's that!



I love the idea that this was 'micro' anything!


Very nice! Yes, the computer too..

20 Things I've Learned From Thanksgiving

Turkey size? Go big.

A healthy Thanksgiving diner is a creation of the devil.

The table space is precious. Don't waste it on foul food.

Stuffing. It's not just a suggestion.

If it weren't for family, Thanksgiving would be perfect.

You only get one vacation day for Christmas, but two for Thanksgiving.

Why? Because your pants don't fit and the management wouldn't approve 'Naked Friday.'

After the meal, moving is optional

Any one stupid enough to get up at 5:00AM the next day, can have the deals. I'm sleeping till noon.

Black Friday is also named for the death of millions of bathroom scales.

Personal trainers hate Thanksgiving

Football cannot be avoided. It's football or dishes, so football it is.

Pumpkin pie is horrible. We only eat it once a year so our mouths can forget what it taste likes.

Deep fried turkey? It should be a national sporting event!

Green bean casserole. See #3

Gravy goes with everything.

Meat, starch, carbs, starch, gravy, starch. Repeat

I see turkey and mash potato sandwiches in your future.

When in doubt, add cranberry sauce.

Gluttony = Thankfulness

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!! From KludgeSpot

Withdrawals

I've got it all, dry mouth, shaky hands, bloodshot eyes and intense stomach pains. I recently have been searching out my pleasure. Seeking it at stores and living vicariously through the stories of others. Wondering when and how my next fix will come and not knowing if I'll be able to contain myself. I know I'm gaming addict, but I thought I could break it on my own.

I've gone weeks without any video games. This is mostly owning to the fact the garage has sucked up so many hours of my time recently. I don't resent the garage. I enjoy woodworking. I like building things and making trinkets to sell to glitter goddesses that are my primary customers. I love money. Where did that come from? Well it's the truth regardless if its a tacky thing to say or not.

When I first got into woodworking it was with the desire to buy more stuff for my computer. I needed a new video card, more RAM and bigger hard drive and sweet new flat screen monitor. Since I've been selling stuff, I've had an influx of mad money. Now all I need for my machine is a new video card, more RAM and bigger hard drive and sweet new flat screen monitor. So...

Turns out I've been neglecting my geek side pretty severely. All that is about to change. My wife made the fatal mistake on Saturday. We were taking turns playing with the girls, in a 45 minute tag team style. It works out pretty well. The girls have more fun because you can just play for 45 minutes knowing your about to get 45 off.

Patricia was playing one of her silly casual games during her 45 minutes. Farm Crazy, Farming Fun or Frenzied Farmer. I have no clue, but she was enjoying herself. I'm not a causal gamer, but considering the time I wouldn't have much fun playing a RPG or FPS for quick 45 stints. She suggested I try "Mortimer Beckett and the Time Paradox". She said I might like it and that it was quite difficult. In fact she'd been stuck on it for a couple of months.


When you're an addict a little taste of your drug can change everything. Mortimer was my taste. 3 hours and 15 minutes. Mortimer didn't stand a chance. Now I want more. Casual gaming? Sure, but that's just an appetizer. It cannot be a real substitute for true gaming. I found myself on Steam later that day, searching for the soup,salad, main and dessert courses. What's a guy to do?

I'm back. Hello my new pasty bloodshot radiation permeated friend. Garage? What's that for?

Craft Show

"Where have you been man?"
"Crafting and stuff. You know."
"Hum, no. No I have no idea what you mean. What the hell is 'crafting'"
"You know, crafting and beading and stuff. You know making stuff."
"Like toaster doilies?"
"See I told you, man. You know.."

So I've been a little busy. I was invited to a crafts fair last weekend. Many of you out there just glazed over. You're comatose, staring blankly at the screen right now.

"He doesn't post for almost 2 months and then when we crave a geeky editorial we get 'crafts and beading?'"

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Bear with me. So when I'm not geeking out I'm woodworking in the garage. I make pens, bottle stoppers, stuff like that. I sell them in local stores, to help outfit my workshop and desktop. Keep them in the upgrades that they have become accustom. So someone saw my turned trinkets and invited me to a crafts fair.

So I spend like 6 weeks in the shop making pens, bottle stoppers, pendants and mushrooms. I was crazy! I was like the sap and wood chips king.

"Peter!"
"Yes?"
"Why are there wood chips all over the bathroom floor?"
"Weird. I dunno, must have been the kids."
"And in the kitchen, living room and our master bedroom closet?"

Anyway I setup my display on Friday and on Saturday I was required to work the show for 3 hours. Since I was the newbie, some of these ladies had been attending this show for a decade, and a nasty man (one of only two men there) I wasn't given much responsibility.

I was the official basket hander. That's right. Basket hander. I also amended greeter onto that prestigious position.

"Good morning. (SMILE) Basket?"
"Thanks"
"Good morning. (SMILE) Basket?"
"I'm just looking"
"Good morning. (SMILE) Basket?"
"oh... I suppose"
"Good morning. (SMILE) Basket?"
"Can I get a blue one?"

Yep. That was my life on Saturday morning. Saying good morning, and handing out and collecting fancy plastic shopping baskets for little old ladies, bedazzled females and the row of sulking men filing behind them wearing the face I was eager to sport. Instead I was stuck grinning like a school boy and commenting on what lovely finds where inside.

"What a darling mouse. knit?"
"Crochet."
"Of course!"

I was suppose to be relieved at 12:00 but my replacement didn't arrive until 1:30. So I think I said those words about 500 times. No joke. We were crazy packed. When I did get relieved the person said,

"Is that all? That's an easy job."
"Well, I am just a man you know."

She nodded in understanding and I walked away. Sore from standing and with a stupid grin that would take me most of the day to undo.