Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video games. Show all posts

Things That Are Impossible


#54 - Looking tough playing the flute


#78 - Understanding the lyrics to Come Together by the Beatles


#12 - Having any good reason for skipping

#32 - Re-reading a mystery novel with any enthusiasm

#33 - Reading Moby Dick with any enthusiasm


#6 - Believing someone who has to use the phrase, "Trust me"

#15 - Playing Super Mario Bros. without humming or whistling the theme song.


How People See Me: PC Gamer

A little mindless humor...

Let me know what you think, or do one for yourself! Here's a blank template for you. It's pretty fun.

The Case For Games: Revisited

I'm a devoted PC gamer, I enjoy them because they stretch the imagination, immerse you in plot, and transport you to another world. Plus they let you repeatedly make bad decisions and blow up crap with stunning graphics and sound!

As far as I'm concerned games are the natural evolution of entrainment media. Consider:

  • Books rescued people from the humdrum boredom of their life, and the harsh realities of the local paper. They allowed for unreal imagination and helped the reader discover the intricacies of their language.

  • Movies were the immersion media of their time, they had the ability to squeeze the vital juice of a book, play or story and portray it in two hours or less. They bombarded viewers with a wonder of sights and sounds they had not experienced previously

  • Television is a vulgar media, like the stupid cousin of movies. Chopping viewing time to minutes and subjecting you to unwanted ads, and weak story lines. Regardless they have managed to bring a small amount of the movie experience home and allow for the serialized story so I will list them here

  • Most people want more. When you see a good movie, read a good book, watch a great series on television, you want to subject yourself to further experiences. Relive the experience with others, and re-capture that joy of not knowing what is going to come next.

  • Video games are the answer. They give you the immersion that you can never have with movies, television, or even books. They allow you to control the choices of your characters. I've been playing PC games for 20 years, and they have grown unbelievably complex in that time but at their core is imagination. You can almost always approach a problem from different angles.

    One of the first games I played was a series called Kings Quest. It blew my mind. You didn't have a clear path. You had to solve a puzzle and reason for the answer. Sometimes you got it and sometimes you died. Before that I has just had an Atari. And while shooting at pixelated blobs was somewhat rewarding, it certainly didn't engage my mind in a story.

    I spend a lot of time playing RPG's (role playing games). As the name suggests, you take the role of a character and use your strengths and weaknesses to guide your interaction with others, and what you can or cannot do. Some characters are strong fighters, some are thieves, and some use magic to accomplish their means. Some good, some evil and you get to decide what you'll be. Consequences. Like a choose-your-adventure book with infinite possibilities.

    Like any good medium creators of RPG's stretch their craft by placing players in space, in suburbia, even in Victorian England. With PC Games you can spend 30-100 hours of gameplay before reaching the end of the story. Most good RPGs have a solid driving story and dozens of side quests. PLus you can play the game over and over with different characters, objectives and even alternate endings. For the money, they're the best entertainment ratio of dollar to hour.

    PC gaming can also be a great social activity. Not every gamer need be an overweight, anti-social, geek (some of us are just lucky that way). I like it when we all get together for a LAN party. This is the time when you find out who your real friends are. Who will you make allies with? Who will be the first attacked? Who can hold out the longest? Who will drug your Mt Dew? The truly cunning will keep up the diplomatic relations all the while caching a deadly arsenal of minions and WMD's.

    "No Carl, I'm with you, man."

    "Then why are you parading an army of heavy tanks into my base!!"

    "About that..."


    I have plenty of male bonding stories that took place while blowing the tar out of a friend’s poorly guarded base. It's not personal, it's gaming.


    I'll leave you with a brief summary of one of my all time favorite RPGs.



    Arcanum is set in a Tolkien style world in the middle of an industrial revolution. The graphics were poor even by 2001's standard but the story captivated me. It pulled me in and wrapped me up in a way that I haven't experienced since. You can pursue magic, learn to build electric lights, steam engines, or Molotov cocktails. Even the game manual is written in the style of the game, as diary excerpts of an anthropologist exploring the countryside. A very immersive game and well worth your time, even a decade later.

    Of course I'm not living in the past. I play through about a game every couple of months I'm always up to try the next game and see how far we can go. I doubt we've even scratched the surface of what is possible.

    "My life" - The Game

    "Good Morning, Commander Shepard"

    "At ease Lieutenant. What's was in this mornings briefing from the council?"

    "Today we've got to organize the warehouse and check on the cable supply for the upcoming network clean up. Then later someone needs to sift through the logs on the mail server and see why sendmail is failing to send low memory alerts and CPU spikes to the group e-mail account."

    "Did Joker put you up to this?"

    "No sir!"

    "Seriously? That's the assignment?"

    "Yes sir! Then you have a 30min break for lunch at 12:15 with a turkey sandwich, baked Doritios and some 'me' time with your latest Grisham paperback."

    "This is the worst video game I've ever been in..."

    My life would make a lousy game. I'm sorry to say but most peoples lives would.

    "Okay, You've almost got the kids ready for school. Now you need to navigate the local highways while singing along to a Raffi hit parade..."

    In fact even people that have exciting lives probably only have excitement for short bursts of time. I doubt that cops, military or even heads of state sustain more than 15 to 20% of excitement on any given day. Paperwork, stake outs, international flights, and even restroom visits are not great additions to a gaming storyline. Real life would make a lousy game. Even the Sims, sitting in a pile of their own filth, ordering pizza delivery, are more exciting than you are! How does that sit with you?

    Video games, like movies need excitement intrigue and loads of plot twists, not boring mundane duties. When is the last time Jack Bauer ever took a leak? But that's life. We have to take showers, brush our teeth, listen to commercials instead of music, sit in mindless meeting and wait for 34 minutes at the Great Clips with nothing to read but Entertainment Weekly. None of that would be a good seller for a video game!

    Player 1 - READY?
    The foreign dignitary is visiting from the former Eastern Bloc country of Estonia. Your job for the next 3 hours will be sitting at your computer filling out his itinerary. You will also have to complete the I-G87 and P-923 forms in triplicate and check for any error or grievous misspellings that might provoke an international incident!

    Right now there is an editor out there reading this post and pumping her arm in excitement at the anticipation of this games release.

    For the rest of us, we'll just have to endure with the high action escapes from reality that are littering the shelves of video game retailers across the planet. Unless of course you'd rather pitch birds with a slingshot...

    Too Old To Wii

    My lovely bride married a geek nearly 13 years ago, and thus was entered into a world she understood very little about. In the passing years she has done a great job of adapting to this strange environment. She now is a full fledged closet trekker, has seen every episode of Stargate SG1 and liked it. She has even read countless sci and fantasy books (and a select 7 novels more than a couple times through...) Additionally she has wiped the floor with me on more than a few RTS matches. In short, my wife rocks!

    In Christmas in 2009 I was blown away to receive a new Wii. We had idly talked about one for a while but as a PC gamer I hadn't given it much more than a passing fancy. I figured if I had a spare $200 bucks and the desire to fight off a couple hundred soccer moms I might pick one up. Otherwise I would just miss out on this latest gaming craze. So imagine my surprise when lo an behold under the tree, was a shiny new Wii from the aforementioned rockin' wife. There was much excitement in the room at the prospect of the body wiggling game console and the fun we would soon enjoy.

    We played the sports games, had friends over and generally humiliated ourselves in the name of fun. We then bought a bunch of other games and soon had a decent collection. For a while I thought more about playing games in the living room than in the office. But it was a fleeting romance of only a month or so. The Wii requires something that I've found I don't have that much of. Exuberance.

    I'm a lazy bastard and the last thing I want to do while having "fun gaming" is jump around like a ninny waving my arms and pointing this wand and Ikea tool handle at my TV. Sure it's fun for a few minutes, but after that the joy is gone and I just want to sit on my fat behind and shoot things in the face.

    Ever played a role playing game on a Wii? Who wants to engage in long conversations or immersive storylines while standing up six feet from the TV? I know I can sit down, but then why wouldn't I just sit down in front of my PC and get better graphics, faster load times and a place to rest my lazy wrist and cup of Dew?

    As far as I can tell I'm just too old for the Wii. I've tried to renew the love, by picking up games I thought were better suited for it. I tried the Marvel Alliance series, Raving Rabbits and party games. I just can't seem to care. So now what.

    I have officially become my father. I am now an old man that cannot adapt to the new fads. Worse is that I'm not even interested in trying. Shrug. Soon I'll start pining for the, "good ol days" dressed in a pair of ratty coveralls. I'll sit on my front step and yell at the kids walking by, "Stupid Wii. Back in my day the joysticks where unresponsive, the buttons were stiff and if you moved the controller around while playing your friends made fun of you!"

    The 36" Monitor

    So.... I might have acted a little rash. Maybe my geekiness got the better of me. Maybe my lack of sleep affected me. My wife believes I've lost my mind. Who knows she might be right, but I would never admit it to her.

    Here's how it went down. I was surfing Craigslist when a posting for a free 36" monitor popped up. I calmly took a deep breath and then mashed out a very well thought out e-mail.

    "WHOA BABY!!! I WANT IT!! I can come and get it tonight!!!!"

    The seller responded, "Okay. Here's my address. That's a 3 hour round trip for you."

    "Leaving NOW!" Clearly something had taken hold of my better judgment and shook the living daylights out of me.

    After my hour and twenty minute drive I arrived. As soon as I saw the beast, I knew I had made a gigantic mistake. What to do? My brain and I discussed it.

    "Take it, before he says no!!"
    "It's absurd. I don't have space for this..."
    "36" inches! DUDE TAKE IT! Can you imagine playing video games on this?"
    "Can you imagine my legs breaking after the desktop gives way?"
    "You have a fine desk and it will have no trouble supporting this trifle of a weight."
    "This trifle is almost 225lbs!"
    "I believe it is worth the risk!"

    So against my better judgment I began down the path to herniated disks and hoisted it into my pickup. I couldn't even see out the rear view mirror.

    Hooked up the laptop and made sure it worked!


    Then the wife and I muscled it on to my desk and waited for sounds of breaking wood. After a few hours, we figured it was okay and decided to test it out. I couldn't help but smile. This was just too cool! Made my keyboard look like a PDA attachment!

    Downside? Well, it's not so great for reading e-mail as the highest resolution is 800x600, but for gaming...this is amazing! The wife fired up some of her games and we played for a while. Hidden puzzle games are a joke on a 36" screen.

    "We're looking for angels on the head of a p-"
    "Got it. Next?"


    Then I brought out the serious guns. Elder Scrolls IV.


    After a 6 hour gaming coma I pronounced it good. When characters heads can be life size you know you're at total immersion. Oh and attacking monster literally had me jumping out of my chair!

    Risen

    My latest diversion...


    Stranded on an island by a torrential storm, you're an outsider in a world ripped apart by powers not of this world. Yeah, the typical RPG setup. Lone stranger here to save the world, nothing new there. Whatever the recipe it's still fun to play a new game. It's been a while and this one is a fun distraction. I know it's good when I dream about it.

    "Sleep well?"

    "Gnomes stole my bastard sword."

    "If I had been given a million years, I would have never guessed those would be your first words to me this morning."

    "In 11.5 hours I can play my game again"

    "Looks like another full blown addiction..."

    In the game you can either join up with the likes of the criminal underworld of the Don, or choose to throw in with the tyrannical leadership of the Inquisition. Not much of a choice for someone who always plays Lawful Good in RPG's

    I'm currently on a path that is supportive of the tyrants. The game has a fairly hazy morality to it and it's hard to know which way to go. I figure I'll side with the law for now. We'll see about how my allegiances hold throughout the game. Either way, if you like killing boars, collecting priceless artefacts, forging swords, mining iron ore and abusing your absurd amounts of power then Risen is worth the money.

    Here's the trailer, enjoy.

    Super Mutant Soup

    Oh no... The beast has returned. I haven't dived into a video game coma for what I believe is over a year. I've been away. I've been in the garage playing with my power tools. Creating objects to make my house a bit more functional or my pocketbook a bit less scrawny. Regardless I've been creating blister, calluses and gathering skills and tools to my ever expanding domain. Something changed. I was sick yesterday. I actually had an injury which prevented me from walking normal. It was both bizarre and nearly impossible to rely here. Regardless, I'm fine now. As a consequence though, I stayed home from work rather than go there in the buff. I'm sure my co-workers are pleased that I made this choice.

    So. I'm not ill, but still unable to go to work. So I sat in my office and fired up an old game. Fallout 3. I'm back. Sweet Mercy. I forgot. Computer, I love you. I'm sorry I was absent for so long. I spent over 11 hours of sick day game play.

    So I fired up the game, and started to recall this game I completed over a year ago. I roamed the District of Columbia wasteland in the year 2277. Apparently the USA and China went to war in 2077 and blew the world to absolute oblivion. Like rats and cockroaches, the human race survived. You and your family were lucky enough to survive in an underground bomb shelter for the last 200 years. Well, now you have emerged. And the wasteland will never be the same.



    I'm a little do-gooder on a mission to find my lost daddy. Seems simple enough. Well... in order to find him I have to complete a couple hundred quest. Each quests allows me to be good or bad. So there I am, in scavenged armour and 30lb sledge hammer ridding the former US capital of horribly mutated irradiated men, crazed post-apocalyptic nuclear winter type animals and authoritarian robots. I spend my day, drinking radioactive colas, trading scrap metal with dirty traders, hacking computer terminals, picking locks, disarming mines and searching the rumble for useless items for others. Items like, sensor modules, power armour, satellite dishes and the Declaration of Independence. It's a real hoot.


    There goes another 40 hours of my life.

    Withdrawals

    I've got it all, dry mouth, shaky hands, bloodshot eyes and intense stomach pains. I recently have been searching out my pleasure. Seeking it at stores and living vicariously through the stories of others. Wondering when and how my next fix will come and not knowing if I'll be able to contain myself. I know I'm gaming addict, but I thought I could break it on my own.

    I've gone weeks without any video games. This is mostly owning to the fact the garage has sucked up so many hours of my time recently. I don't resent the garage. I enjoy woodworking. I like building things and making trinkets to sell to glitter goddesses that are my primary customers. I love money. Where did that come from? Well it's the truth regardless if its a tacky thing to say or not.

    When I first got into woodworking it was with the desire to buy more stuff for my computer. I needed a new video card, more RAM and bigger hard drive and sweet new flat screen monitor. Since I've been selling stuff, I've had an influx of mad money. Now all I need for my machine is a new video card, more RAM and bigger hard drive and sweet new flat screen monitor. So...

    Turns out I've been neglecting my geek side pretty severely. All that is about to change. My wife made the fatal mistake on Saturday. We were taking turns playing with the girls, in a 45 minute tag team style. It works out pretty well. The girls have more fun because you can just play for 45 minutes knowing your about to get 45 off.

    Patricia was playing one of her silly casual games during her 45 minutes. Farm Crazy, Farming Fun or Frenzied Farmer. I have no clue, but she was enjoying herself. I'm not a causal gamer, but considering the time I wouldn't have much fun playing a RPG or FPS for quick 45 stints. She suggested I try "Mortimer Beckett and the Time Paradox". She said I might like it and that it was quite difficult. In fact she'd been stuck on it for a couple of months.


    When you're an addict a little taste of your drug can change everything. Mortimer was my taste. 3 hours and 15 minutes. Mortimer didn't stand a chance. Now I want more. Casual gaming? Sure, but that's just an appetizer. It cannot be a real substitute for true gaming. I found myself on Steam later that day, searching for the soup,salad, main and dessert courses. What's a guy to do?

    I'm back. Hello my new pasty bloodshot radiation permeated friend. Garage? What's that for?

    Korobushka Stuck Again...

    Sometimes I get this song stunk in my head for no good reason. I Feel like playing Tetris now...

    I thought I'd pass along the favour!

    For the curious

    Chasing Credits

    I'm a gamer. I game. That is to say I engage in an expensive form of immersible fantasy for one goal. Credits. I crave a good game, enjoyable play and engaging storyline, but above all, I'm in to win. I suppose it's just my nature. I want to see it through to the end.

    I have, for no other reason than completing it, spent the last 200+ hours of my gaming time on a game called Morrowind. I traipsed about the countryside, helping those in perils, righting wrongs, slaying evil and insulting uptight policemen. And most folks, besides a few policemen, thought that this imaginary world was a better place because of my interest in it. Why did I do all of this, with what other people might see as an unreal horde of perfectly good free time? Because I enjoy being belligerent to imaginary cops!? Possibly...

    But there was more to it than that. I wanted the credits.

    See... like a great movie, when a game is completed they congratulate you. A sort of "thanks for sticking it out" sort of thing. It allows you to feel closure. In the game, my character started out as a nobody, a nothing wuss who ran away from scary insects (not unlike myself in many respects). By the end of the game, I rid this fictional world of a crazed demon god leaching his powers from a Dwarven machine attached to a disembodied heart. It was, well, pretty impressive work if I do say so myself. I mean, am I being overly pompous to expect a little praise for that?

    Well not in Morrowind. You get a 45 second ataboy, and told, "Thanks for stopping by. But honestly we got other stuff for you to look at. Don't touch the cheeseball though, it's for the real guests."

    I have played dozens of games and have yet to complete one that didn't roll credits. It's like...well...like it's not over. Could you imagine a movie ending, the house lights coming up and and being like, "Well... I guess that's it." You would always wonder, was there more film that they forgot to roll? Now imagine if your movie was 200 hours long. That sort of how I'm feeling... A good game, but honestly. Did I really finish it? Should I keep wandering around killing monsters, even though there are no quests left to complete? I feel sort of empty.

    I was explaining this to another guy at work, a fellow gamer (who actually used to code games for Lucas Arts) and when I told him after my epic journey there were no credits he was flabbergasted. I tell you this as an excuse to type out the word 'flabbergasted' twice in one blog post and add unnecessary quotation marks. . <--- This second period is a typo that I'm leaving alone so I can type about it. (This is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts)

    Regardless... Anyone know where I can get 200 hours of a wasted year back? See, there's this new game I'm thinking about installing...