20 Things I Learned In Traffic

Make opportunities where you find them, including the small space between two Mac trucks.

Every car should be required by law to have bumper stickers to read. Traffic is way too dull without them.

Yellow lights are irrelevant.

Red lights are too sometimes.

Coffee always tastes more bitter in traffic.

Theory of Relativity - Whenever you are running late or your gas tank is nearing empty you're relatively sure to hit heavy traffic.

Sometimes, it just feels good to tailgate.

The amount of time you will be stuck in traffic is directly proportional to how bad you need to get somewhere.

Yelling at motorcycles flying past your car is acceptable when in heavy traffic. Opening your doors on them is not. Unless you can do it without getting caught.

A good getaway is hard moving at 12 MPH.

Singing in your car is much more likely to attract an audience while in traffic. Not all of them cheerful.

No one likes to see a happy driver while stuck in traffic. Turn off your music and look miserable like the rest of us.

Anyone being courteous in traffic is a new arrival. Take advantage of their kindness for they will soon be jaded like everyone else.

Everything outside is more interesting than the traffic; this includes the poor chump changing his tire, or just counting yellow stripes.

Getting mad, yelling, weeping or banging your head on the steering wheel is okay in heavy traffic. It gives everyone else something to look at.

Your car is always more uncomfortable in traffic.

Get to know your traffic neighbors. That way you can try and keep them from passing you.

As long as the Earth is still spinning, the other lane will always be moving faster.

You will never be in the ‘other’ lane.

Everyone is out to get you.

Feel free to add your own traffic revelations.