Plastic Cutlery

I have nothing to say, but I'm here anyway
I have nothing to type, but the same old tripe
I have seen nothing new, but I'll do as I do
And pump out more lines and waste all my time
Doing this thing that I can't seem to shake!
Sometimes I just sit at my keyboard and wonder, "Why blog?" The only answer I have is, "Because Peter, if you don't, this stuff will stay in your head. While there it will begin to crowd out the more important stuff like, 'how to wear trousers' and 'that one should never poke policemen with cutlery'. This knowledge is important, and you don't want it pushed aside by the inconsequential garbage used to fill up blog posts."

Or there you are one day, walking around town with just your underpants jabbing away at some cop with a plastic knife and then what do you have? That's right, and fractured skull and grounds for a giant lawsuit. So...

...hmmm. Anyone know where I can get some plastic cutlery and a really cushy hat?