20 Things I Learned From NES Gaming

Fernando over at Picando Codigo has been translating my '20 Things' posts into Spanish on his blog. When he asked if I was okay with that, I was of course very flattered and agreed that I had no problem with it.

For kicks we decided to go fifty fifty on a new '20 Things' list of his own creation. Half are my revelations and half are his. Any of you who can read Spanish be sure to check him out and drop a note off.

So here it is, as Fernando put it, "The mighty collaboration between two geeks who had nothing better to do!"

Don't forget to stretch. One thumb cramp and you're done for.

Bring your own controller.

Controllers on the couch leads to tripping with wires, leads to equipment flying across the room. This only stinks if you're winning.

No liquids, near the NES. This also includes sticky, splashy or crummy foods.

Franticly waving the NES controller. The original Wii.

Pizza is important, but always clean your hands. Your game might suffer from slippery thumbs.

The worse you play, the less you play. Better players make a better show for the rest.

If you loose, don´t cry. Pity won´t make others let you win. and no one likes a sore looser.

If you win, you must accept a rematch. These are the rules, and it allows for further humiliation.

When in doubt warp a level.

All is fair in war. Make no mistake, you are at war.

Cheating is out of the rules. If you cheat, you suck.

"up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start." Don't pretend you don't understand.

No one beats Tyson, but it's still fun to see you fail.

MIDI rocks!

The game is not over while there´s at least 2 players awake.

If you are the last player awake, there´s always a Super Mario hanging around.

It's dangerous to go alone. Bring Mt Dew!

Calluses are the only real Power Glove.

8 bits are all you need.

Under Guard

Last night was a milestone for me. I realized last night that there are people in this world who live on another plane of reality. A plane were fact and physics have no hold. Where all you have to do is dream and someone is going to get paid. That place is called marketing.

Yesterday evening I was asked to participate in a survey. I was asked to share my opinion on deodorant. This wasn't an extremely difficult task and I must say, for the most part, it was enjoyable. I was asked to rate about 15 new deodorant ideas. I really had to stop and think, "Do I care about my deodorant?"

Being a guy I can't say I've thought much about it till last night. I just go to the store and buy the same white and green container I always got. In fact when I was asked what I currently used, I had to stop and think.

"It's got a green cap. When I can't find it, I get the one with a blue cap."
"I see..." He sort of scribbled that down. "Do you know the scent?"
"It has a scent. I'm just not sure what that is."

So we continued and I was asked to rate new ideas. Ideas like putting human pheromones in a stick of solid to attract a potential mate. I had to be honest with him.

"I don't know what a pheromone is, but I don't care."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what Sport Talc is either but I'd buy it in a pinch."

And so it went. Fresh meadow sent, to caffeine stick, to tingling gel.

"There are two types of sweat?" I ask.

"That's it's claim. What do you think about that"

"I think I better have a few more swipes each morning!"

I felt bad, because I was convinced that a deodorants job was to keep you smelling good, and most of these didn't really care about that.

"How do you feel about sprays?"

"I liked them in high school."

"That's interesting. Why?"

"Because at 15, nothing was as much fun as spraying someone down with a can of musk. Solid just didn't have the same effect."

"Ok. Well, what do you think about this one? We put silver in the stick."

"The metal, silver?"

"Yes, it will help kill bacteria that cause odor and keep you dry. It has encapsulated nano-technology that is time released to keep you dry. It will wick away any excess moisture and keep it from your clothes."

"Where will it wick it to?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can it come with a green cap?"

Chicken Little

For those of you who wonder why it is that I get paid for my job, understand that I am now earning that draw. In the world of computer networks the last thing you want to see is your network administrator running around looking busy and worried. This is a little like the bomb tech running for his life.

So I'll try and post later, but I can't make any promises.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Ahoy Me Matey's! Today is September 19th which is "International Talk Like a Pirate Day." As you can see Kludge Spot is flying the Jolly Roger! So get your Pirate name, and start spreading some fun, "You Scurvy Sea Dog's!" Keep checkin back, as I plan to keep updating!!


Pirate Name Generator - My name is Poncy Nathanial Le Grande. A bit of a buckler of swashes I imagine!! No fair clicky till you like it! :)

Kludge Spot Quiz?! Who's Your Favorite Pirate?

1. Captain Hook
2. Dread Pirate Roberts
3. Long John Silver
4. Jack Sparrow
5. Black Beard
6. Your Own Choice!

Pirate Puzzle
Pirate Gunner Practice


Wrong on so many levels but still fun. Some people have even more free time than I do...


Your Inner Pirate

Three things you need to be a pirate:
1. Get a boat (stolen preferably)
2. Hoist a flag
3. Declare war on the world.

I think that kayak is in trouble!

Lazy Thursday Blues: 9/13/07

"The real trouble with this world is that no one listens anymore!"

"Lets try and keep it down here people!"



Stuff I found this week:

Toast Notes Wild...

What it will be like living in the futuristic world of 1999. (Made in 1966) - Someone call the Communal Service Agency!

Are you keeping up with the Commodore? - That kids probably running a small country by now.

Myth Busters - Bull In A China Shop!

The Last One?

Yesterday while sitting in my car, idling at the Starbucks Coffee drive thru line, I heard the strangest thing coming from the car behind me.

"Do you folks serve coffee here?"

"Yes"

"I want a coffee. What sizes do you have?"

"Tall, Large & Venti."

"Okay, I'll have a..."

Was I just witness to the last Starbucks holdout? Was it truly possible that there was a person living in America who had never been to a Starbucks before yesterday morning? How is that even possible? I found the prospect mind numbing. They didn't look like an alien, but I suppose that could be one explanation. In fact after yesterday morning, I'm more willing to accept the fact that aliens have landed on Earth, based solely on this fact that the mountain of silly photos and conspiracy theory's I've heard. Lets examine the facts together.

Even if they hadn't been before, because they either didn't like coffee, Starbucks or a little of both, I find it hard to believe they wouldn't know about the caffeine giant at all. The fact that they asked the "Do you folks serve coffee here?" question implies that Starbucks was a new concept to them. A total unknown entity.

I mean, the simple fact is, anyone living in my town HAS to see the Starbucks logo at least once a day. I can't drive anywhere in town with passing at least four Starbucks. In fact we have a spot where 2 shops are in the same mini mall, less than 200 yards apart! Add to the fact that they are both always busy! I mean, I think I can safely say, "Starbucks has caught on."

Additionally this person, this cave dweller, apparently cannot even read. Assuming for the moment that they made it through the last 15 years never seeing, hearing or passing any Starbucks. However absurd that sounds, we'll try and believe it. They, at the very least, should be able to see that they serve coffee. The word coffee is in the logo. It's like half the sign! In clear 54 point font!

So there it is. Were being invaded by aliens, or I just witnessed the most unlikely human in the nation. Either way the outcome is clearly astounding!

Sneezing For Blessings

During my childhood, sneezing always seemed a rather violent act. When my father sneezed, bones cracked, car alarms sounded and people miles away were thrown through shop windows, where they were forced to purchased items they had no intention of buying minutes prior.

Needless to say that when dust was stirred up in my house, you found some sturdy place to anchor yourself against the impending shock wave, or suffered for your lack of preparednesses. Unless of course you wished to get downtown in a hurry.

As I grew up I spent lots of time cataloging different types of sneezes. Believe it or not, it's true. Some of us are just made to be human nets for the collection of obscure data. At this point in my life I believe that for as many different people there are in this world, there are just as many different types of sneezing styles.

Besides the aforementioned Back Cruncher, here are a few more from my lists.

The Single Standard Sneeze. This is a simple single sneeze, at an above average pitch. This is way they sneeze in Hollywood. Note that there is never anything expelled in the Triple S. That would not be sexy, and Hollywood cannot allow this. Everyone thinks they're a Triple S. Don't bet on it.

The Muzzle Muffle. This is a scary sneeze to me. The point is to keep the violent explosion of a human sneeze from erupting. This is the equivalent of putting your forefinger in a gun to hold back the blast. It might work for Bugs Bunny or James Garner but there is no way I'm going to try it. Muzzle Mufflers also think they can open a can of soda, after it's shaken, just by tapping on it.

Next is the Whistle Blower. I must say this is one of my favorites and we have a Whistle Blower in my office. This is a Muzzle Muffler lacking sufficient skills to hold back the tide. They try and stifle the sneeze but sound, much like a steam whistle, escapes. "EEEPP!" Whistle Blowers are great at parties. They're like a free Piccolo Pete. You supply the irritants, pollen, dust, perfume or whatever, and they go crazy. Let's get this party started! "EEEPP! EEEPP!"

The Extra Credit. This is a new one to me, but I feel for the person experiencing it. There is nothing as violent as three or four sneezes in a row. This looks like a major whiplash hazzard to me. The plus side of the Extra Credit is to get as many "Bless You"'s as possible. This is accomplished by performing around new folks. Those of us accustomed to Extra Credit, sometimes forget to bless at all, due to the sheer excitement of the show.

So there you have just a few of the sneezes from the catalog of an avid collector. Please feel free to share any you've seen.

Word To The Wise

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This is my first full day wearing shoes since a rather unfortunate Labor Day 'episode'. Even seven days later ,I'm still in quite a bit of discomfort. Additionally I have peeled away a couple layers of me and still see nothing but red legs and ankles...

...Some people have to learn the same lessons, over and over and over and over...