20 Things I Learned From Pork

Pigs are for eating. E.B. White was a fool

If it was a part of a pig, someone, somewhere has eaten it. Additionally, they probably liked doing so.

There a few inedible pig parts. Even those have been tried numerous times.

Nothing tastes like pork. As such, it's not the 'other' anything. Pork is the one and only.

Even bad pork is better than the best veggie burger

Cured, Smoked or BBQed? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Some people can't or don't eat pork. That's OK, this just means you'll be able to have a second helping of ham

With over a 100 variety of cured sausage alone, you will never find yourself saying "No, not pork for dinner again?!"

Cured pork *is* medication, the illness being lack of pork.

Pigs are designed to be dirty and gross, so as you don't feel guilty killing and eating them.

Of course once you've fallen for pork, you would eat it even if it looked like a kitten and frequently said, "I love you."

The four food groups could easily be re-written to,
1)Sausage
2)Bacon
3)Ham
4)Pork Chops

Sure you might gain some weight, but obesity is a small price to pay for ultimate happiness

Eating all this pork might also have long term health effects, but who wants to live longer if you can't eat bacon?

Pork simplifies your life. Breakfast? Pork. Lunch? Pork. Dinner? Pork. Sleep, Repeat.

There is no such thing as extra bacon. Anyone who has extra doesn't know what they're doing.

Italians know more ways to cure pork than anyone on the planet.

If you don't have an Italian friend, go find one right now.

If pork was ever to disappear off the planet, many of us would just stop living.

If you don't understand, then you probably never will.