Furniture City

Going out of business! Everything must go!

We are not going to make it anymore. We will have to close our doors. We have a dozen lurking salespeople but no people to make sales for. We spend more time dusting our furniture than selling it. The creditors are calling and it’s not for friendly chatting. Furniture City is calling it quits.

I can’t understand it. It’s not like we are selling our household furnishings for way more than they are worth. No, I will not accept that! It’s not that we are overpriced, it’s that our stuff is worth more than our competitors. Sure it looks cheap but it's not. That cardboard back is there to ease the toil involved in moving, and particleboard is becoming very popular. At least that is what our suppliers say. Who would want solid wood panels when veneers looks just as good, and they come in heavy black lacquer!

We have tried every tactic we can think of. Free puppy day seemed to dissuade customers more than bring them in. We had beanbag day. Spend a thousand or more on a bedroom set and receive a free plastic beanbag chair in one of seven vibrant colors. This did not go as well as we had hoped. We even had a huge 5% off blowout sale and still couldn’t even approach the deals of our highest priced competitor.

We try and do our best. When a customer comes in we smother them with service. It’s even in the employee manual. Page five subsection three paragraph six, “The customer cannot be trusted to make decisions on their own. Once they pass under the ‘This door to remain unlocked during business hours’ sign, they are to be ‘Smothered with Service.’ All employees will do their best to piggy back the customer, make suggestions, ask inane questions and generally pester the walking credit card until they get fed up and leave.” Even with all of this extra special attention sales are suffering.

We have no choice but to close up shop. Don’t worry about it though we’ll survive. We’ve gone bankrupt eight times before. Of course we weren’t Furniture City then. First it was Furniture Village, then Furniture Furniture Furniture, always with the same sales people and same merchandise. We have a liquidation sale, but even then sales are not stellar. People must not have seen the twelve dozen 15% off all stock signs on the front lawn.

Our investors will never get wise. We’ll re-open and be right where we’ve always been, peddling our sub quality merchandise the only way we know how. At slighty higher prices then other stores but with service you can depend on. Come in and see us, you might not recognized the new name on the door, but it will always be us. Different dust cover but still the same boring content at the newly remodeled Furniture Bazaar. The name says it all.