Letters to the Void

Dear Starbucks Coffee Company;

I just wanted to mention how much my wife and I enjoy your coffee beverages. My wife and I have been long time patrons of your shops. We are more than happy to contribute our small part to the hulking tower of coffee commerce, that is Starbucks Coffee. The last time we decided to partake of the repast at your local drive thru store, I was surprised to say the least.

I just wanted to say thank you for allowing my wife and I the twenty minutes to sit in the drive thru line, and discuss things. Things like how our heads were pounding from the lack of caffeine, how we were nearly out of gasoline and that the car might idle itself dead. We also got to clear the air on some other ‘issues’ we had been discussing earlier. Additionally it gave my two young daughters, time to scream their lovely heads off about needing bottles, wet diapers, or whatever notions popped into their darling little heads.

Once we reached the order screen, I carefully recited my order to your employee, who seemed rather lonely. In fact she was lonely enough that she decided that she needed to chat about my order, and asked me to repeat it several times. I enjoyed this immensely and felt the practice did me well. I feel that I am now more qualified for repetitive assembly line work, or other mundane and mindless work, like working in food service for instance.

Once we reached the front I was overjoyed to learn of your new quality assurance methods. I was asked to sample my beverage “just to see if it tasted okay” while three employees watched. It is good to know that everyone was concerned for me. I burned my tongue, and then assured them that I wouldn’t be able to tell what it tasted like now, and thanked them for their ingenious solution to the problem.

My wife ordered an iced caramel macchiato, but your helpful employees, were thoughtful enough to serve her a hot drink instead, seeing at it was only seventy-five degrees or so outside. I’m afraid my wife was set on an iced drink, and had to request they changed it back. Still not satisfied with all the help they had already given us, they decided to give her an iced vanilla latte, just to expand her obviously limited pallet. We didn’t notice the change until we were on the road.

Please keep up the good work. I feel good to know that my ten dollars and thirty-seven cents went to into the coffers of such a caring, concerned, and considerate company.

Sincerely,


Peter P. Brown
Santa Rosa Ca.