Cash Out

I hate cash. I suppose that sounds a bit unusual but I assure you it’s the truth. I’m absolutely against the whole cash thing. I not advocating that we all start wearing matching sliver suits, start munching on soylent green or scanning our foreheads, but I wouldn’t be hurt not having to handle any more cash.

First off is the undisputed fact that cash is money. I think we can all agree on that point. So why would I ever be against money? I'm not. I'm all for money. In fact I've been an avid money collector for a while. It just seems that for some unknown reason my collection is very popular with other money collectors. People that own banks, deliver water, stock food, make electricity and so forth. People in those positions can be very influential. Because of these people my collection hasn’t grown much. I’m not against money, I’m against cash.

Cash is a pain. In order to buy something with cash you have to have enough of it on your person. If you don’t have enough cash you cannot purchase said item. The solution? Stuff your life savings in your trousers! This means that if you lose this cash your out of money. Additionally when people see you have large rolls of cash in your trousers they will attack you with reckless abandon for the dough your carting around.

Cash is highly dirty. I suppose this stands to reason, since everyone who sees it wants to touch it, that it would be quite dirty. Most people I know who see a twenty lying idle in the road, aren’t going to pass it by. Therefore cash has more germs than most public restrooms, but you’ll hold it in you hand, put it in your pocket, or lay it on the table at a nice restaurant.

Change is cumbersome. Invariably when you pay with cash you will get back change. This pile of cheap metal is placed in your pockets. You don’t have enough of it to buy anything with, so it accumulates as the day goes by. When you reach into your pocket for you keys you sow cents all over the pavement. The only upside is being able to walk away. For some reason people don’t consider it littering to throw money on the ground.

Cash is convenient you say? I disagree. I have seen a person spend a lifetime counting out bills and change for their purchase, when I could complete the same transaction in seconds with my plastic. I have one thin piece of clean plastic in my wallet. With that I can purchase anything I need. There is no unruly metal by product to deal with, just a receipt. If for some reason I lose it, I make one phone call and cancel it. Why put your self through all the hassles of cash when there is something better?

I just don’t see any persuasive reason to stay with the paper dinosaurs, or his metal Neanderthal friends. The paper and metal ways of our grandfathers are on their way out. Plastic is comming in. And although your not required to wear a silver suit you might want to try one on. The future is comming and there is little we can do about it. As for me, I say "bring on the plastic!"