Catan Take It Anymore

Got Wood for Sheep?

Recently I have been playing a lot of Settlers of Catan. It’s a board game. Patricia and I were introduced to this new lifestyle by Brian and Esther. We had them over and I was worried about what we would do. I asked them if they played cards and they said that they had been playing Catan recently and hadn’t played cards in a while. I had heard about the game and expressed and interest to play.

I didn’t know much about it when we started to play, but I was hooked from the very first move. For those not in the know about Catan, just understand that it has moved from a simple board game to an all out irrepressible addiction. Settlers of Catan has stolen my soul and turned me into a resource craving lunatic. People I once considered my friends have become grain hoarding, ship building, road blocking adversaries.

In the game the goal is to collect resources: grain, wool, ore, wood, and brick. This occurs by dice rolls. The more resources the more Catan structures you can build which will allow you to accumulate even more resources. It’s a vicious cycle of greed and conquer. The game only ends when one person has reached a certain number of points, and stomped all over his fellow players. I have a highly competitive nature. No it would be more accurate to say… I’m a ravenous beast that will only be content play if I stand a chance to win.

Okay now that you understand the basics let me mix it up a little. There is always a wrench in the gears of commerce. The robber. Even if you’re winning and collecting vast resources, a simple roll of the dice can change everything. When a seven is rolled a piece called the robber is played. He sits on your resources and you cannot collect any as long as he’s there. Rolling a seven will allow you to move him. Seven is the most common dice roll there is. So why is it that for the last eight rounds you have roll three 2's , two 5's, two 11's and a stinking 12!. While the resource you should be collecting sits in a pot and your empire rests stagnate. Your opponent whom you’ve been crushing is now dancing a jig on the table. Imagine Rockefeller collapsing over one seven!

Patricia and I are getting a Catan divorce. We start off the evening having a nice dinner then singing with the girls. We end it foaming at the mouth over a pile of cardboard! We can no longer play nice together. Additionaly neither of us is going to give up playing! I have begun pasting up pro-resource propaganda on the walls of our house.

“Equal rights for farmers, and ranchers! Keep the robber at bay! Let the Government deal with his kind! Keep our children safe from brick stealers, ore pinchers and wood snatchers!”

So far my support has been waning. Meanwhile Patricia has been pushing her own agenda.

“Manufactured for use! All pieces have their purpose! The robber deserves existence as much as the roads! Robber stimulates competition, competition essential for growth”

If you haven’t played yet I would recommend it. Additionally we would welcome the opportunity to play with you and pound your amateur playing tail into the ground. Setters of Catan, the soul blackening marriage destroying game of resources and accumulated contempt.