Man Week 2011: Day 3
As I sit here at my desk munching away on my salad, that my wife prepared for me today at my request, I cannot help but wonder how such a meal would be viewed by our manly predecessors.
"Nog, I have returned with food!!"
"Ugh!! What have you slain."
"Well actually its a little something I like to call... Green Stuff"
"Green Stuff?!! Oh!! Lizard?
"Where did you kill this strange green beast?!"
"Actually it's a mixture of leaves, pine cones for texture and a sweet juice squeezed from the blue ball tree..."
Needless to say Ugh's offering was not well received. Additionally the clan noted that he tasted much better to them then this is 'Green Stuff" he invented. To this day men are vary of salads and would much rather partake of food that tends to bleed and leaves a smelly trail of droppings.
Not to say that men don't appreciate the finer things in life. We do, and can, but it is not at our core. It is something we have to reach out for. Something we have to be willing to try. At our core we inherently understand that pigs, cows and pizza trees exist solely for our sustenance. Additionally these things could be had with minimal effort. I cannot tell you how many times this has taken place in my house
"I'm getting hungry..."
"I can make something."
"How long will that take?"
"I dunno 30 minutes or so. What do you feel like."
"Too stinking long. Lets order out and it will be delivered in a hour."
To me this makes perfect sense. I'd rather do what I like for an hour than wait while something is cooked. The wife has not grasped on this concept. What's not to get? I get food, with no prep time, no cleanup and don't have to smell it while it cooks. Honestly men, who among you hasn't resorted to cooking only because it was too late to get delivery?
The only exception to this is cooking on the grill. I love cooking on the grill and will jump at any chance to wield an open flame. Some part of my childhood manifests itself in the delight of touching and using the matches that got me in trouble more time than I care to admit. Men and fire go to together like girls and gossip.
So in summary. If it can be killed we'll eat it. If there is a path of least resistance, we'll find it. And lastly, if it needs to be blackened, make sure you call for a man.