Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Man Week, Day 3

Happy St. Patrick's Day! You'll notice that Kludge Spot is sporting the green icon of the emerald isle and is ready to celebrate. I've lined up a slew of stout for everyone. Even the ladies.


It is now mid span in our controversial Man Week here at KludgeSpot. In the last two days we've discussed the reason why men are superior to woman and what a Man Card is, including how it can be lost. I'm on shaky domestic grounds and one of my friends is ready to off me for comments about convertibles yesterday. All in all a successful two days! Today is no different. Today great knowledge awaits us!

St. Patty's day is fabulous holiday. A celebration of a Catholic saint who brought Christianity to Ireland and supposedly vanquished all the snakes from her shores. And that was only two of his miracles! Now over 1500 years later, how is he remembered? By wearing green, eating beef and drinking beer. Hello! I'm in! What a perfect mid week holiday for our man week.

Invariably during your red letter revelry you might find yourself in a public place with the need to relieve yourself. It happens if you are drinking porter or drowning yourself in root beer. Sooner or later you're going to have to let it all out.

Mens Restroom Rules

Now unlike the women's restroom a men's room is a bastion of efficiently and perfection that only a man can appreciate. There are no couches, pictures or full length mirrors, but we are quite proud of what we do have. A car race style pit stop. In and out in record time. While the girls will spend hours waiting for a place on the pot, men are in an out before you know it. This isn't because of some cosmic injustice as the broads will tell you. No it's because in a men's room there are rules. A unwritten contract that all males are aware of. Those of you who are not, will soon be enlightened.

Below are a few video primers for you. The one is interesting, though a bit more liberal in it's allowance for chatter. Still a solid glimpse at proper bloke behaviour.


A simple, easy to follow how-to. Pay attention!


My favorite of the three. I believe the author and I agree whole hearty on what is proper restroom behaviour. Though at around 4:30 the video goes off the deep end of a pretty ridiculous cliff. Still he makes a good point in the end. If you can handle the silliness, I would recommend finishing it. Besides how often does the phrase "butt pudding" really come up in your day to day context?



Now a test to see how you did!

The Urinal Game

Be sure to post a comment with your score!

I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring

14 comments:

Tony said...

I just thought you might want to know: I was doing a kettlebell workout (partially inspired by your Man Week theme, by the by) when this popped up in my RSS reader. :) Seemed rather fitting for the theme.

kludge said...

Sweet!

Working out with giant iron balls? Certainly qualifies as a manly pursuit!

As long as you don't swing your kettleballs in the loo.

Jeremy said...

I missed two... but I got the last one right!

kludge said...

Awesome Job!

The first time I did this I missed the last one. I'm impressed you got it!
I also missed the one where you go to the far open urinal.

Leo and Kim said...

Ok, I am waiting for the man post that talks about why you have to go to the bathroom for 30 minutes with a book when it takes you less than five minutes. Then you sit in there and....enjoy the aroma? Or you do a "courtesy flush" part way through. Or maybe I have been led to believe that this is "normal" when in fact it is not.

kludge said...

Kim-

Awesome!

You mean the library? Simple answer, there is a time for efficiency; While you're out and on the clock and a time for leisure. In your own home.

The home is a castle, and certain allowances for the king must be made! :)

SJ said...

As long as the castle is equipped with multiple bottles of Febreeze spray!

BBrito said...

hey kludge! thanks so much for all the comments on my crow blog! And congratz for your men week!
It sounds like this will be a fun week! :D
ps. also, if you want some help trashing 'Sex and the city', send me a note, I have tons of material for that! [and it seems I'm the only female on the planet that dislikes/hates like hell, that show...]
happy men week! cheers!
b.

kludge said...

Bruna-

Your skills with digital media rocks! I'm always impressed by people who can draw with such detail.
like this one!

As for Sex in the City, I've been lucky enough to have never seen an episode. I bet I'd agree with you!

BBrito said...

thanks again! I really liked Wintersmith pic too!
As for SexintheCity, you are very lucky indeed, dear sir! I managed to watch 3 episodes. The first I just thought, "hey, this one really sucks. maybe it just bad luck. the next one will be better!"
the second "ok. still crap. maybe I'm reeeealy unlucky."
third one "that's it. F@CK this show. I hope this chicks burst into flames. they make woman everywhere look bad. I'm done with this."
and that was it for me...
you should suggest to everyone to break all SCity DVDs on Man week!!! :D

Tony said...

BBrito, are you advocating destroying other peoples property, or the idea that to celebrate our masculinity men should go out and buy Sex in the City-DVD's (as obviously, we don't own any to begin with)?

Sorry, but I am having trouble seeing either option in a positive light. :p

BBrito said...

LOL! ok, Tony. Didn't thought about that... so I'll go for the destroying other peoples property option. I'll bet you can manage to find a dvd at your sister,mother, or girlfriend house. If you really think about it, you would be doing a favour to humankind in general, regardless of sex gender. Yeah. That's how much I think the show sucks.
:D

kludge said...

NICE! It must really be quite bad!

Tony said...

Hmm. I have no sisters, my mother is a wilderness guide in Lapland - not the sort of person to watch stuff like that too keenly - and my girlfriend lives with me.

Nope, sorry, no DVD's to destroy over here. :)