Happy St. Patrick's Day! You'll notice that Kludge Spot is sporting the green icon of the emerald isle and is ready to celebrate. I've lined up a slew of stout for everyone. Even the ladies.
It is now mid span in our controversial Man Week here at KludgeSpot. In the last two days we've discussed the reason why men are superior to woman and what a Man Card is, including how it can be lost. I'm on shaky domestic grounds and one of my friends is ready to off me for comments about convertibles yesterday. All in all a successful two days! Today is no different. Today great knowledge awaits us!
St. Patty's day is fabulous holiday. A celebration of a Catholic saint who brought Christianity to Ireland and supposedly vanquished all the snakes from her shores. And that was only two of his miracles! Now over 1500 years later, how is he remembered? By wearing green, eating beef and drinking beer. Hello! I'm in! What a perfect mid week holiday for our man week.
Invariably during your red letter revelry you might find yourself in a public place with the need to relieve yourself. It happens if you are drinking porter or drowning yourself in root beer. Sooner or later you're going to have to let it all out.
Mens Restroom Rules
Now unlike the women's restroom a men's room is a bastion of efficiently and perfection that only a man can appreciate. There are no couches, pictures or full length mirrors, but we are quite proud of what we do have. A car race style pit stop. In and out in record time. While the girls will spend hours waiting for a place on the pot, men are in an out before you know it. This isn't because of some cosmic injustice as the broads will tell you. No it's because in a men's room there are rules. A unwritten contract that all males are aware of. Those of you who are not, will soon be enlightened.
Below are a few video primers for you. The one is interesting, though a bit more liberal in it's allowance for chatter. Still a solid glimpse at proper bloke behaviour.
A simple, easy to follow how-to. Pay attention!
My favorite of the three. I believe the author and I agree whole hearty on what is proper restroom behaviour. Though at around 4:30 the video goes off the deep end of a pretty ridiculous cliff. Still he makes a good point in the end. If you can handle the silliness, I would recommend finishing it. Besides how often does the phrase "butt pudding" really come up in your day to day context?
Now a test to see how you did!
The Urinal Game
Be sure to post a comment with your score!
I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring