Man Week, Day 1

I'm officially declaring this week Man Week! It's your chance men to show that you still have a backbone and the ability to generate your own thoughts. If you are a man, it's okay you don't need to apologize for being you. You are what you are, a being created by thousands of years of outside conditioning and need. You don't have to be transformed into something else by those pesky creatures who are always nagging for reform. Right, women.

Look dames, this isn't about you. Many of you are taken back. What? I know that comes as a huge shock as many of you believe the world revolves around your every feminine whim. This week is about men. What men are, what bugs us and what we put up with everyday in a very female influenced world.

So, what does it mean to be a man? I'm not talking about the teenagers and college kids drinking their brains out and womanizing. This isn't boy week. It's man week.

Over the last 100 years men have been made to feel that they are inherently wrong. Just for being able to pee while standing on the side of the road. I think we have suffrage to blame! Giving the broads the vote has been the downfall of our own sex. Now we have to put ourselves down and pretend that we aren't what we are so that they feel better about their place in the world! What a load of crap. I'm not going to apologize for being male. I am what I am. Cope.

At my office I open the door for men. Why? Because the chicks can't have it both ways. They either get mad at me for opening the door because, "They can do it themselves" or they get snippy that I didn't open for them. "Weren't you raised with any manners?" I've never had a man mad at me when I open the door for him. I know he can do it himself! He didn't think I thought he was inferior. And if I don't open it, he doesn't pitch a panty fit about manners.

20 Things About Men

  • Men can not call one other for a week and no one will start a gossip chain that effectively cripples Ma Bell.

  • Men don't have to have 45 pairs of shoes.

  • Men can get ready to leave the house during a commercial break.

  • Men can gas in front of one another. Sometimes this becomes its own sport

  • Men can call each other idiots and none will have to apologize for it.

  • Men can put a nail through their finger, slap on a band-aid and keep working.

  • Men don't pay 50 bucks for a haircut.

  • Men know how to operate a BBQ effectively.

  • Men don't want an umbrella in their drinks.

  • Men respect the TV and don't chat it up during the program.

  • Men know what all the remote buttons are for.

  • No man would willing relinquish the remote.

  • Men can not talk for 30 minutes during a car trip and no one feels ignored.

  • Men can be in and out of the supermarket before the ladies finish applying their make-up in the parking lot.

  • Men don't want to 'share their feelings" with you. If necessary, you'll know what we are feeling soon enough.

  • Men don't eat walnut, cranberry & spinach salads for a treat.

  • Men can get together and have a good time without an itinerary.

  • Men don't need to have a 30 minute phone conversation to "catch up."

  • Men don't need a committee to make a simple decision.

  • Men can go to the restroom all by themselves.

  • If you're a girl and want to comment on man week, know that I don't promise to post it. And if I do, I might ridicule you. It's man week. Suck it up twinkie.

    I'm also celebrating Man Week @ Fusion Ring


    Jeremy said...

    What if you know a "guy" who does have 45 pair of shoes... and likes them? What then.

    kludge said...

    I'm afraid this "guy" is going lose serious points off is man card...

    He should go kill something and BBQ it, to help make up for the deficit!

    J Crew said...

    What if he can't BBQ that well?

    J Crew said...

    I do love this. Man week is booyawesome... HUZZAHH!!

    Ando said...

    Preach on brother!

    Patricia said...

    Women of all the "men" who posted are welcome to join me for a night out - no children - they will be well taken care of by the "men". No need to prepare dinner for the "men" or children ahead of time, I'm sure they kill something and BBQ it. The kids will love it.

    P.S. Make sure to feed the children many prunes a couple of nights before. The "men" can "man" up and change a few diapers!!

    Leo and Kim said...

    Love it..many true things stated like the car silence, itinerary, catching up, etc. I would love to join Patricia for her invitation. :)

    Jeremy said...

    And that just about ends "Man" week. It was nice while it lasted. Thanks Patricia.

    SJ said...

    I have many - many thoughts on this one - and I am going out for the night out with no children. Just a few thoughts - we know men with 45 pairs of shoes, I know a man who relinquishes the remote - smart man, and men don't need a 30 minute phone conversation to catch up - because they are "twittering" and texting all day long! Happy Man week - in honor of you all we are going to leave you to your manly grills and go out for dinner :) I am sure I will order a cranberry, walnut and spinach salad - and will love every minute of it while having a long conversation catching up with Patricia :):) Happy Man week!

    kludge said...

    I see the women have responded.

    Is there any wonder to the masses why man week exists?

    As for a night out, good luck with that Patricia, you've got laundry to do!

    ViperMan2000 said...

    This is the greatest thing! I love this blog post! You are so right in everything you said! Haha!

    Tony said...

    Bravo on doing this! Something like a Man Week is sorely needed in todays pussified, metrosexual society.

    On the topic of "the guy with 45 pairs of shoes"... For some reason I am reminded of the guy who runs :) I have no idea how many pairs of combat boots he has but I would wager: lots. (He wrote somewhere that he does not have a closet for his clothes, but rather several of them. Gives you some idea of the amounts talked about, as does the amount of reviews on his site.) For some strange reason, he does not seem in any way unmasculine though...

    RC said...

    How fun is this, hope you had a good man week.