Wooden Cigar Store Indian

Mr. Wooden Cigar Store Indian,
Why are you there in front of the store?
All rigid and poised standing next to the door,
Do customers notice you’re there anymore?

Mr. Wooden Cigar Store Indian,
Why is you face all sullen and taught?
No fan of tobacco? I’d guess you were not,
But there’s nowhere to go, career choices are shot.

Mr. Wooden Cigar Store Indian,
So you stand erect, all steady yet calm,
With a mess of cigars shoved into your palm,
You can’t smoke them or take them to your wigwam.

Mr. Wooden Cigar Store Indian,
Do you mind that the kids make light of your dress?
‘Didn't know loincloths were in!’ they confess
What you wear are essentials and they’re not to impress.

Mr. Wooden Cigar Store Indian,
You will stand near the shop as you always have done
Selling your goods, holding fast to your gun
It’s your duty and you’re the tobacco chieftain.

-Peter Brown 2006


Jeremy said...

Do you think that I could get one of those to stand outside my office door at work?? Maybe I wouldn't put cigars or the like in his palm, but I think it would be rather cool to have him guarding the door for me.

Now let's discuss the theological ramifications of your poetry Kludge. :-)

kludge said...


I think that would be SO cool!

I wrote this after seeing the Golden Wooden Cigar Store Indian by your house. I felt like I was looking at the Baal of tobacco. and felt like he just needed a little poem about him.

J Crew said...

While not a fan of cigars or cigs, the smell of those places is actually quite good in my opinion

kludge said...

J Crew-

I agree. There is something about knowing that they can kill you that tends to be helpful in avoiding them, but I don't mind the smell of a good cigar.

Wooden Cigar Store Indians on the other hand, always smell good.

Ando said...

Uh, excuse me...it's Wooden Cigar Store Native American. Psshhh. Cretins.

Is it just me, or are the word verifications getting more and more intricate?

kludge said...


Mr Wooden Cigar Store Native American just didn't flow.

...I felt like the poem captures the plight of the Native America from a time when the cigar store statue was acceptable. I feel that it shows how people have forgotten about him and left him trapped in that image with tomahawk and feather head dress. I feel that the wood symbolizes the way this narrow view been carved into the American landscape, with no one taking up his cause.

Or maybe the idea of a wooden Indian statue selling tobacco makes my brain go "weird."

Yes... I clicked on the 'annoy your commenter's' option in the blogger dashboard.

jenylu said...

Creative poem Kludge -- you are truly a Renaissance, albeit unpolitically correct, man.

kludge said...


Thanks. I liked this one.

I didn't intend it to be politically incorrect, I guess I just didn't take the Wooden Cigar Store Indians' feeling into account...

...I promise to try harder...